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Movember Madness

November 28, 2012




With Movember coming to an end, it is time to put the best mo’s (or staches, if you prefer) to the test. Think March Madness but with furry lips and waxed tips. The hope is that this tournament will help finally put an end to the never ending fight over who has the greatest mo while bringing increased awareness to men’s health, particularly prostate cancer. If you enjoy it, please donate a few shillings here:

Selection Sunday

Before the tournament could come to a start, some ground rules had to be created. First, it was decided that 64 mo’s would be entered into the tournament, broken down into 4 regions, and seeded 1-8 in each region. Each region was given a category that its entrants had to belong: sports figures, famous people, TV characters, and movie characters. I could go into great detail how some were put into one category, but I will touch on any questionable ones as we go through the match-ups.

Hours were then spent deciding the final 64 to go into the tournament. Images were compared, biographies were pored over, and trimming habits were closely examined. While some may argue that there were no true criteria for selection, an entry had to have had a defining career or moment that was epitomized, stimulated, or even made possible through the mo. Similar to so much else in life, there is no true definition of greatness, you just know it when you see it.

Before going into the selections, we would like to honor some of the bubble Mo’s to miss the cut. Mario of “Super Mario Bros.” fame lost out when the video game conference lost its automatic bid. Wooderson of “Dazed and Confused” was just “alright, alright, alright” and didn’t make the cut. It was also decided that our tournament had no place for evil dictators so Hitler and Saddam were shown the door. In the sports region, we had a very tough battle in which it was decided a play-in game was needed. Mike Ditka narrowed out Wade Boggs to earn the 64th and final position.

So without further ado, the selections by region and seeding order:

1. Rollie Fingers
2. Hulk Hogan
3. Goose Gossage
4. Larry Bird
5. Don Mattingly
6. Keith Hernandez
7. Dale Earnhardt Sr.
8. Mike Ditka (def. Wade Boggs in play-in)

People and Personalities:
1. Burt Reynolds
2. Salvadore Dali
3. Groucho Marx
4. Ron Jeremy (*representing the Porn mo conference)
5. Charlie Chaplin
6. Ghandi
7. Teddy Roosevelt
8. Albert Einstein

Movie Characters
1. Ron Burgundy (Anchorman, *70’s mo conference)
2. Rhett Butler (Gone With The Wind)
3. Jules Winnfield (Pulp Fiction)
4. Doc Holliday (Tombstone, *Cowboy mo conference)
5. Bill “The Butcher” Cutting (Gangs of New York)
6. Capt. Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Carribean, *Pirates mo conference)
7. Vito Corleone (Godfather)
8. The Stranger (The Big Lebowski)

TV Characters
1. Magnum PI (Magnum PI)
2. Ron Swanson (Parks and Rec)
3. Walker (Texas Ranger, *Police mo conference)
4. Gomez Addams (Addams Family)
5. Ned Flanders (Simpson)
6. Gene Shalit (The Today Show)
7. Geraldo Rivera (*Douchy News personality mo conference)
8. Yosemite Sam (Looney Tunes)

Some quick notes

  • Burt Reynolds made it as a person while Tom Selleck was put in as a TV Character for a couple of reasons. First, they were both seen as #1 seeds and needed to be put in different regions but more importantly, Tom Selleck is always Magnum, while everything Burt Reynolds ever did – he IS Burt Reynolds.
  • Several people were selected from some of the top Mo conferences and have been noted a champion (*) of that conference. These conferences have automatic bids considering their long line of commitment to the Mo.

Come back tomorrow for the first 2 rounds and Thursday for the final rounds.

26 Comments leave one →
  1. November 29, 2012 6:23 pm

    Nice post.

    I did a blog entry at the beginning of the month about it.

    You can can it out here ->

  2. November 29, 2012 6:42 pm

    Loved your post. Resonates personally for we have the “Movember” frenzy at work every year. What a noble cause and I like your humor too. Keep it up!:-)

  3. November 29, 2012 7:47 pm

    What fun and madness! Is there a Decvember madness?

    • November 29, 2012 7:49 pm

      Based on the feedback, I think we may have to look into it.

      • November 29, 2012 8:34 pm

        I was joking about Decvember madness. That is neat others have given you feed back on this as well. Thanks for answering me.

  4. November 29, 2012 7:55 pm

    Haha–love the diagram!😀 And (not) surprisingly I recognize all the competitors except for the ones in the Sports category!

  5. November 29, 2012 8:13 pm

    Monkey’s grown a tasche for movember. But I think it looks better on humans!
    Enjoyed your post. But I think there should be a section for animals on there

  6. November 29, 2012 8:16 pm

    Brilliant! Personally, I like Ned Flanders coming out of the TV region in a bit of an upset.

    The rest of my Final Four:
    Earnhardt, Sr.

    • November 30, 2012 4:02 pm

      Nice! My final four would be Fingers, Roosevelt, Swanson, & The Stranger.

  7. November 29, 2012 8:38 pm

    Interesting way to do a Movember tribute. Well done.

  8. November 29, 2012 9:13 pm

    Reblogged this on MetaRead360 Small Press presents and commented:
    NOTE: Love the “infographic” as elimination rounds!

  9. November 29, 2012 9:54 pm

    Any list that has Ron Burgundy as number one is a list I like. He’s kind of a big deal.

  10. November 29, 2012 10:43 pm

    Reblogged this on Bored American Tribune. and commented:
    — J.W.

  11. November 30, 2012 4:52 am

    This is hilarious. I have my money on Rollie Fingers.

  12. November 30, 2012 8:44 am

    Can’t wait for the upcoming rounds though I do have to say that the Movember symbol smack dab in the middle reminds me of a penis. This may or may not have been intentional. If it was, then hats off to you…if it wasn’t, then damn, I just revealed my dirty ass mind to the world.

  13. November 30, 2012 2:16 pm

    Without a shadow of a doubt, Hulk Hogan has definitely got to be up there! Hulkamania BROTHER!

  14. November 30, 2012 3:18 pm

    haha I am wondering if my buds will do don’t shave december…so great!! Wonderful post, thanks for sharing and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    • November 30, 2012 5:51 pm

      I’m predicting a come-from-behind victory by a write-in….none other than yours truly!! I didn’t grow this caterpillar for nothing!!

  15. November 30, 2012 3:37 pm

    I am predicting an upset whereby Cinderella story Yosemite Sam makes it to the finals against Salvadore Dali. Salvadore becomes totally intimidated and loses by a whisker.

  16. only1chrisds permalink
    November 30, 2012 7:53 pm

    You need to see how my Media teacher came in to school:

  17. November 30, 2012 8:07 pm

    What about Hercule Poirot? Too old-school?

  18. November 30, 2012 9:39 pm

    I have loved Movember, I enjoy your countdown of the best mo’s, my favourite mo of all time is Tom Selleck in Friends, what a babe

    wrote a little blog post myself,

  19. December 2, 2012 5:16 pm

    Why didn’t I know about Movember u Til December??

    • March 8, 2013 2:13 pm

      The heart of your writing while appeirang reasonable originally, did not really settle perfectly with me after some time. Somewhere within the paragraphs you actually were able to make me a believer but only for a short while. I still have got a problem with your leaps in assumptions and you would do well to help fill in all those breaks. In the event that you actually can accomplish that, I could definitely end up being impressed.

  20. December 5, 2012 2:38 pm

    My final four would be.
    Hulk Hogan
    Burt Reynolds
    Ron Swanson
    Ron Burgundy


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